Procedural memory, learning about self and other prior to (or as) language is being learned, is grounded in interaction sequences always taking place for the child. These procedural patterns, often repeated, become the "unthought known" (Bollas) or underground architecture for security, insecurity, or disorganization. We "know" about relationships in this particular way, but we aren't aware we know it.

 

Below are five different interaction sequences that might become building blocks as a child is beginning to define the trustworthy nature of relationship. These are examples of AND and lack of AND in times of difficulty. 

 

As will be obvious, all but one offer instances of how the black hole (all pervasive absence) can begin to define the background noise in the remainder of a child's life.

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